The rhythm of this felt incredibly fluid, as if the words were flowing onto the page while your consciousness flowed alongside them. It felt like something between poetry and confession.
Really really well done! The pacing and the cadesence propel the story forward and add to the overall tension. Everytime it would feel like it was getting close to the flatline it would pick back up. Gripping and beautiful :)
Your use of line breaks was great, I think it played into the idea of creating space and made it rhythmic like the compressions of CPR, and I smiled when i saw that you created another poem by the red words throughout. Like a poem that demands more than one read-through. Beautiful imagery! You have a new subscriber!
What the hell this was intense!!!! 😭
Well this was very cool.
The rhythm of this felt incredibly fluid, as if the words were flowing onto the page while your consciousness flowed alongside them. It felt like something between poetry and confession.
Really really well done! The pacing and the cadesence propel the story forward and add to the overall tension. Everytime it would feel like it was getting close to the flatline it would pick back up. Gripping and beautiful :)
absolutely haunting and beautiful wow
Your use of line breaks was great, I think it played into the idea of creating space and made it rhythmic like the compressions of CPR, and I smiled when i saw that you created another poem by the red words throughout. Like a poem that demands more than one read-through. Beautiful imagery! You have a new subscriber!
Uff, those breaks
“Am not I?” “I”
Just creating the whole atmosphere 🕊️
beautiful!!
The title has my heart
Wow, I am stunned. This is extraordinary!!
thank you so much!
beautiful 🤍